The Nice Guy and the Nice Girl

The “nice guy:”

Nice guys are nice because they think it’s the best strategy. They want to be respectful and all that stuff and think they’re better than the a-holes who screw them and ditch them. Unfortunately most women don’t see it that way.

I actually think the “nice guy” might be a remnant of the past when dudes had to behave differently because you had to win over a woman and her family with manners and grace and show that you were a good provider. You know, because women couldn’t have jobs or leave the house without a chaperone. I’m sure that game was different. Those ladies were probably still most attracted to the highest value men, though. I doubt some super beta guy would do well in that situation, either.

It’s like “nice guys” are applying traits that only work for dudes who are already alpha.

If you’re a super wussy dude and cry a lot and write poetry, is that going to get you many chicks? Not really.

But if you’re a manly dude who happens to write poetry and occasionally cries at a sad movie, it will make chicks want you even more (the key point being that they wanted you already).

“Nice guys” get it wrong. Chicks want their outlaw boyfriend with forearm tattoos to listen to them and have emotional talks with them, but when their friendzoned guy friend listens to them and has emotional talks with them, it’s not going to make them attracted to him. There’s no attraction there in the first place.


The “nice girl:”

Not too tough or aggressive, but maybe too tomboyish. Initially, until they figure it out.

Maybe the real equivalent would be… type A girls who have introversion without introspection. The kind of people who have a 10-year schedule by the age of 18 involving 8 years of study in a particular field, and not because it’s a field they actually care about (though they may tell themselves they do), but because society happens to consider it respectable and it appears to offer the most financial security (in the very long term).

I mean a person who will in theory “be open to” romance, adventure, and opportunities off the beaten path; in practice they will watch an endless number of romantic comedies, study like a beaver, develop an eating disorder or three, and either implode somewhere along the beaten path, or manage to traverse the whole thing out of sheer inertia. The penultimate result is a very small amount of sexual experience by the age of 30, and eventually a guy who is not Mr. Right, but definitely Mr. Responsible, and also Mr. Available At The Time. The ultimate result is a person who thinks they have virtues like “realism” and “responsibility,” because that’s what you tell yourself as you drift through middle age to the grave never having had the self-awareness to take advantage of being alive.