Monthly Archives: November 2012
Meh, I think there’s a time and place and method that requires some intervention that the other person check their frame. “Hey, whoa, I think you’re taking this way out of proportion….xyz” Sometimes we don’t realize when we’ve gone too far or taken something out of context and run with it or addressed/said something inappropriate or hurtful. I think there’s many wrong ways of doing this however, that will yield more negativity rather than good.
Again, are we in high school? If you have a partner with any integrity, this should be a non-issue. Being in the company of other women and flirting are two different things though.
Again, this should be a standard for either partner. Own up to your own stuff. If you didn’t follow through with something, own it. And accept that this uncomfortableness doesn’t have to repeat itself if you learn from it this time. “Hey I’m sorry, I messed up” goes a hell of a lot farther than some goofy flimsy excuse. Because there’s a muddy wobbly line between excuses and lies…..its hard to distinguish between the two.
This is a BIG DEAL to me. 9 times out of 10 you end up saying something hurtful that you didn’t mean just to be spiteful. Being upset or mad is one thing, but yelling and speaking out of turn and insulting or being mad/sarcastic to intimidate or manipulate is unacceptable to me. You have every right to feel what you feel, but you don’t have any right to talk down to me, yell at me, raise your voice at me, call me names, god forbid accost me physically. It serves no purpose and no gain in terms of problem solving. If you’re mad, cool the down then come talk to me. It doesn’t mean you’re not in need of validation, but once you’ve cooled down a bit, you’re clearer headed and more likely to problem solve effectively without hurting the other person unnecessarily. And for gods sake never have important conversations/problem solving attempts/arguments while either or both parties are intoxicated. Wait until you’re sober to have the conversation.
If you can keep your cool in a work situation for example, showing restraint and what have you, you should damn well be able to do the same where it matters most, your loved ones. If you can’t, then perhaps you need to look within yourself to see what’s the problem with that equation.