I Love the City

Living in the city is an experience unlike anything else. The sites, the action, the energy, there is nothing that can replace it. I never really considered myself a city person until I actually lived downtown for awhile...

The Business World

Do you remember a time before the internet when people had to get their news from newspapers, and if you wanted to buy some stock you had to call your stockbroker on the phone? And possibly worst of all, there was no GPS, not even MapQuest; how did we ever get anywhere?

Cars keep changing

New cars today might be cool-looking, but you do not have any real choice if you want to swap out the head unit on the radio. Ten years ago all cars had pretty much same shaped rectangular head unit and it was easy to replace it with an aftermarket unit. That is not so easy today with all these custom styles...

I miss being a kid

Being a kid is this magical experience and you do not realize how awesome it is until you are an adult. Everything is creative and fun, everything is an adventure, and then you go to sleep and wake up the next day and do it all again...

Bonding

It is kind of amazing how you can know so many people, yet so few are worthy of being called your -friends-. I am not sure if that is related to the monkeysphere or if most people are just crazy and probably not people who would make good friends, anyway...

Why I Pay My Car Insurance 6 Months At A Time

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It’s the time again.  I pay my my cheap car insurance in Clearwater in 6 month chunks.  I prefer doing it this way because then I don’t have to think about it again for another 6 months.  Sure, technically you can save a little money if you pay it monthly, but since savings accounts are barely paying anything right now, it’s not really going to make a difference.

Wait, let me expand on that.  I’ve been told that some companies charge you a little extra if you pay monthly.  Assuming that isn’t the case (meaning your 6 month bill is the same as 6 times your monthly bill), then it’s not really going to make a difference.  Sure, if you pay monthly then you can keep the extra money in your checking account and earn a little interest on it, but like I said, savings accounts aren’t even paying 1% right now, so you’re really not saving much money doing it that way.  Look at it like this:

Say your monthly premium is $50.  So you can pay 6 months at a time and that’s $300, or you can pay $50 a month and for the first month you will have an additional $250 in your savings account.  Now let’s say you’re lucky and your bank is paying a full 1% interest on your savings account, so you’ve got that $250 which is making 1/12 of 1% (cuz remember, your bank is paying you 1% per year, not per month).  One twelfth of 1% of $250 is just under $0.20.  So that first month you’ll have saved 20 cents by not paying it monthly.  The second month, after you make your second payment, you now have $200 left over (the balance of what you would’ve spent had you paid all 6 months up front).  One twelfth of 1% of $200 is less than $0.17.  So after two months you’ll have saved less than $0.37 doing it this way.  Finishing up the months and you’ll have made $0.61 in interest over the 6 months.

And that’s if your bank even pays 1% interest.  Most banks aren’t even paying that right now.

Look, I know every dollar counts, but I’d rather just pay it 6 months at a time up front and not have to worry about writing a check (or paying online) every month.  Maybe if we were talking $10 difference or something then it would be worth paying it monthly, but as it stands now there’s really no benefit to doing so.  And if your company charges you more to pay monthly then you should definitely pay it in 6 month segments if you can afford to do so.

The Nice Guy and the Nice Girl

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The “nice guy:”

Nice guys are nice because they think it’s the best strategy. They want to be respectful and all that stuff and think they’re better than the a-holes who screw them and ditch them. Unfortunately most women don’t see it that way.

I actually think the “nice guy” might be a remnant of the past when dudes had to behave differently because you had to win over a woman and her family with manners and grace and show that you were a good provider. You know, because women couldn’t have jobs or leave the house without a chaperone. I’m sure that game was different. Those ladies were probably still most attracted to the highest value men, though. I doubt some super beta guy would do well in that situation, either.

It’s like “nice guys” are applying traits that only work for dudes who are already alpha.

If you’re a super wussy dude and cry a lot and write poetry, is that going to get you many chicks? Not really.

But if you’re a manly dude who happens to write poetry and occasionally cries at a sad movie, it will make chicks want you even more (the key point being that they wanted you already).

“Nice guys” get it wrong. Chicks want their outlaw boyfriend with forearm tattoos to listen to them and have emotional talks with them, but when their friendzoned guy friend listens to them and has emotional talks with them, it’s not going to make them attracted to him. There’s no attraction there in the first place.

 

The “nice girl:”

Not too tough or aggressive, but maybe too tomboyish. Initially, until they figure it out.

Maybe the real equivalent would be… type A girls who have introversion without introspection. The kind of people who have a 10-year schedule by the age of 18 involving 8 years of study in a particular field, and not because it’s a field they actually care about (though they may tell themselves they do), but because society happens to consider it respectable and it appears to offer the most financial security (in the very long term).

I mean a person who will in theory “be open to” romance, adventure, and opportunities off the beaten path; in practice they will watch an endless number of romantic comedies, study like a beaver, develop an eating disorder or three, and either implode somewhere along the beaten path, or manage to traverse the whole thing out of sheer inertia. The penultimate result is a very small amount of sexual experience by the age of 30, and eventually a guy who is not Mr. Right, but definitely Mr. Responsible, and also Mr. Available At The Time. The ultimate result is a person who thinks they have virtues like “realism” and “responsibility,” because that’s what you tell yourself as you drift through middle age to the grave never having had the self-awareness to take advantage of being alive.

That Green-Eyed Monster

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My friend Josh was interested in this girl I am friends with named Angie.

Angie likes to go out and flirt with people.

Josh gets extremely jealous about this.

Angie likes to wear short skirts and revealing tops; she likes best of all to wear nothing. Or at least – as little clothing as she can wear in public, without getting yelled at by jealous, less attractive girls.

The funny thing is that because Angie likes attention, likes to attract indicators of interest from guys, likes to flirt, likes to get validation, likes to get proof of her social power over men, she is LESS likely to be picked up successfully by a guy than her milder-mannered sisters.

Even though she is meeting more guys and getting more advances, the odds of anything happening are lower for Angie than the odds are for other girls.

Josh sees a girl like Angie and thinks, “Wow, she has to be the ‘easiest’ girl ever. I’m in.’”

In fact, it’s because she is meeting more guys and getting more advances that she becomes, in a sense, immunized. Angie begins to blur all these men together. They become a single, changeless tune, a song of reverence, sung by horny club rats.

Whereas any – ANY – insecure librarian, to pick on a stereotype… any girl, that is, who is uncomfortable so much as letting her hair down in public will fall head over heels for the first guy to persistently attempt to go out with her. “Omgz, attention??” Thinks my librarian stereotype. “This must be love!”

It’s peculiar that Josh sees Angie’s extraversion as a threat, when in reality it makes her less available to the male population than her attention-avoiding lady friends.

Angie can handle guys. That’s what it is all about for her. Josh doesn’t get it, but it’s not his fault. He is just an idiot.

This message was brought to you by a bemused observer of social dynamics.

 

My gf is quite introverted

Fortunately, she doesn’t really like attention from other people. Like people will try to talk to her on the train (while she’s wearing her iphone headphones, no less) and she’s like “wtf r u talking to me for?”

My gf is super cynical, possibly even more so than I am, and so it would take someone at least as awesome as me to catch her attention, and statistically speaking that’s probably not going to happen as I’ve only met 3 or 4 people who are that awesome in my entire life (two of whom were girls, so they’re no threat when it comes to stealing my gf anyway).

 

This is just from my own personal experience. I am sure it is different for each of us.

Personally, I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to be with me because she doesn’t realize what she’s got. I would want her to feel extremely good about herself and STILL be with me… cuz then, yeah, I really am awesome

A guy who was into my girlfriend once told me, “Wow, you must keep her really insecure to keep her around.”

Ha. Blew my mind with that comment.

I Want To Move to Europe

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I really want to move to Europe, particularly Holland or Germany. I just don’t know the how to do it. I want to land a job first and have a company give me a work visa, but I don’t have ‘technical’ skills to justify. What i mean is a company needs to prove that they can’t find anyone within their country to fill the position and I don’t have a “unique” skill…

I’m in the “digital media” industry. Work with ad agencies/publishers in the local search field. I’m on the operational side – done ad trafficking (This is the only ‘tech’ experience i have – ad servers), account management and now I manage a team of account managers. Ideally, I would like to work in the same field (From what I’ve seen/read what I do here is still in its early stages over there so would be an asset) but i am completely open to the type of work…just not teaching English, joining the armed forces, stuff like that

I started to learn German, but its still in its infant stages. The reason I listed Holland was because it seemed like everyone knew English when I was there and I liked it over there. My dad worked in Holland a while back – but he’s an engineer and his company offered it. My company isn’t international..

I just started doing my research on the internet and people basically say to apply and mention that you’ll be in that country soon (say it was a planned vacation or something) to show how serious you are, etc, etc. Maybe they’ll give you a phone interview, then if they like you, you can interview when you’re there…but it looks like your chances are much higher if you’re in a high demand field and multi lingal (engineering/IT). I am bilingual but in English/Mandarin

A last ditch resort would be to improve my language skills, save money and just move over there (I’ve got a friend in Germany). i think you can stay 3 months without a visa…then test my luck finding a job. huge risk on this one.

Does anyone have any recommendations? or actually did this? I’m going through my resume, trying to develop a cover letter that shows why I am unique, etc but

I am a bit impulsive…if I could move this weekend, i would do it, but reality is…I’ll give myself by the end of the year to see if i can get over there.

How Much Drama Can You Put Up With?

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Meh, I think there’s a time and place and method that requires some intervention that the other person check their frame. “Hey, whoa, I think you’re taking this way out of proportion….xyz” Sometimes we don’t realize when we’ve gone too far or taken something out of context and run with it or addressed/said something inappropriate or hurtful. I think there’s many wrong ways of doing this however, that will yield more negativity rather than good.

Again, are we in high school? If you have a partner with any integrity, this should be a non-issue. Being in the company of other women and flirting are two different things though.

Again, this should be a standard for either partner. Own up to your own stuff. If you didn’t follow through with something, own it. And accept that this uncomfortableness doesn’t have to repeat itself if you learn from it this time. “Hey I’m sorry, I messed up” goes a hell of a lot farther than some goofy flimsy excuse. Because there’s a muddy wobbly line between excuses and lies…..its hard to distinguish between the two.

This is a BIG DEAL to me. 9 times out of 10 you end up saying something hurtful that you didn’t mean just to be spiteful. Being upset or mad is one thing, but yelling and speaking out of turn and insulting or being mad/sarcastic to intimidate or manipulate is unacceptable to me. You have every right to feel what you feel, but you don’t have any right to talk down to me, yell at me, raise your voice at me, call me names, god forbid accost me physically. It serves no purpose and no gain in terms of problem solving. If you’re mad, cool the down then come talk to me. It doesn’t mean you’re not in need of validation, but once you’ve cooled down a bit, you’re clearer headed and more likely to problem solve effectively without hurting the other person unnecessarily. And for gods sake never have important conversations/problem solving attempts/arguments while either or both parties are intoxicated. Wait until you’re sober to have the conversation.

If you can keep your cool in a work situation for example, showing restraint and what have you, you should damn well be able to do the same where it matters most, your loved ones. If you can’t, then perhaps you need to look within yourself to see what’s the problem with that equation.